I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm really busy with my period
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