I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
