I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
She even gives head with a lisp.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
