Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
