I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Will exercising make me less horny?
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