i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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