...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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