hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
What drink are we having for lunch?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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