i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
