Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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