Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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