So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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