I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
