Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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