Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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