hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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