the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Naked Twister starts at high noon
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
