omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
