butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
