I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
