I'm lost and stupid without you.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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