How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
