I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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