he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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