Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize