you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize