lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
