Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
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