her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
