PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
