oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
