He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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