worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
