so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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