what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
3pm strippers are depressing
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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