Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
