exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
