glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
