so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
