i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
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