So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
