you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
