i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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