I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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