ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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