HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
whose ass print is on the piano?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
