I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
