Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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