it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
