If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
