I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
