I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize