READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
