I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
