just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
