grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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