That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
But break dance skills will only take you so far
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
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