All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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