my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
