in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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